Initially I was unsure if I would date these or just leave them as a random slurry of text overload that no one will read, but I think, as this is an extension of something written in the daily updates section, dating it makes more sense. Recently I've been watching this clip on repeat, and I find I resonate with it more than I'd like to admit. I've always been told that I'm too nice, that I should drop certain people, that I should turn away, but I can't. The idea of hurting someone else-even if they've broken me down and left me when I was vulnerable-is simply inmpossible for me to grasp. Regardless of what someone has put me through I can't help but reach out when they ask for help. I'm no saint, there are certainly people I've hurt more than I'd like to admit, and there have been people I've had to leave behind because what they put me through was too much to bear. But the difference is, that when I do it, I can't sleep over it. I lay awake at night wishing I could undo the things I've done to those I've hurt. I find myself more alone than ever these days. People don't reach out to me, and when they do the moment I start talking they just leave again. I guess I smother them, I do talk to much. But I'm also always there to listen when they're having problems. Maybe I'm naive, maybe I'm just to stupid to learn that some people don't change, but I don't see it that way. I don't want to believe that everyone is awful, I don't want to even imagine that it's possible. That's part of the reason I'm leaving. I think that maybe I've just gotten so unlucky to be surrounded by people that don't really appreciate me, and when I leave I'll find my people. I believe that. I also believe that the people who have hurt me, and those who are right now, are not only capable of change, but worthy of being forgiven. I forgive them before they do anything wrong because I just can't hold that hate within me. There are some people who don't want to be forgiven though, to them they didn't do anything wrong and for those people I hope they can learn. I think the world we live in today fosters a lot of this unappreciative and negative behavior. The sense of community and care for the fellow human has decreased so much. When you look outside all you see are roads separating you from everything else. When you're in work or at school you can't appreciate the people there because you're simply forced to be around them. It feels like nobody WANTS to meet people anymore, they don't even want to talk to them. And that's why I refuse to leave people behind, because when they're ready to accept that maybe the world isn't so bad, and people are good, they'll have someone there to show them. At least that's the idea. I don't know if it'll ever work out that way, but I hope and believe so. That's the end of today's rant, just wanted to put some of these thoughts down. Have more to say but mostly private. LT signing off.